Four weeks and a few days ago, I entered a contest. It was a simple contest, one where my photograph was put up against photos of other dogs. From the beginning I had apprehensions of my ability to be victorious. My fears were not based on my looks, demeanor, or anything other than a matter of placement. I was number nine, nine of nine, in last place before the contest even began.

I asked for your support, and I thank those of you who were dedicated to my cause. Perhaps it was ambitious for a mutt like me with funny ears to aspire to victory in a world where purebreds are preferred. I had hope that my diverse heritage would resonate with my constituents, and that in me, they would see themselves. It appears not to have been the case.

From the very beginning, I was committed to running a clean campaign. At times we were in first place, others second, and as of today, with one day left in my campaign… third. While myself, I groveled at what is in my own opinion a lack of cuteness in the ultimate victor and second place finisher, I have since overcome those hostilities…and I ask that they…or their owners…take no offense at my honesty.

Now in terms of the campaign, some have concerns over the validity of their votes. Many, many times I witnessed some disturbing occurrences where votes I cast for myself seemed to register for dog number one. In fact, my own grandmother accidentally cast a vote for number one. (For the following few days, that one vote was the difference between us two. I thought about disowning her, but she often babysits me. I know not to poop where I sleep.) I’ve considered petitioning the governing body for a true, total, and accurate tally. However, I’m not anxious to wake a sleeping dog. Sure, we could argue hanging chads, dingle berries, and unfortunate events, but at this point, the facts are what they are, or at least what they appear to be.

Along those lines, I have heard threats of boycotting this website. I encourage you to reconsider. This is a small, relatively insignificant contest. Please don’t take the results personally, I certainly don’t. Please shop, shop, shop. It is the only way we can begin to dig this country out of its recession.

So, what’s next for Superfunk? Well, most likely a walk, hopefully some food, and if I’m lucky, a belly rub. Down the road I do aspire to continue competing. I will do so with one clear objective, and that is to enter into contests where there is one objective, non-biased governing body. I am confident, but not arrogant, on my ability to win on looks and appearance. Should this seem shallow, I assure you I am more than a pretty face. There is substance, and with that substance comes honesty. I will, as I have learned from this experience, not enter into any contests where “popularity” is the sole criteria, because as we have witnessed I’m sometimes more successful at earning that than others.

Again, I thank you for your support. Please feel no pity or sadness. I certainly don’t. In closing, I look forward to hopefully gracing your wall via some calendar in the future.

Yours,
Superfunk

So I keep reading that everyone thinks that the scoring was rigged, well dog number 1 just happens to be my parent's dog and while I'm not sure who actually won this competition I can assure you that all the votes for Lucy were fair. My father posted Lucy's picture, and he really wanted her to win... well I really love my father, and I have a lot of contacts. Well you all can figure out the rest. I'm sorry that you are feeling so sorely about this. Anyway, I thought all the dogs were super cute, it's just that my dad is very important to me. I hope you all can lay this to rest, and have a good time for the duration of these contests!

Nevertheless, I'd like to say that I know the owner of Little Shop of Terrors personally, and while I've not seen or talked with her for a few years, I can attest that she's honest as the day is long; generous too. As a point of interest, I campaigned a few months ago for a contest entrant who belongs to one of the owner's relatives. That cute little doggie did NOT win.

What a wonderful and fun activity the contests are, with prizes like A LITTLE BAG OF DOGGIE TREATS (for cryin' in a bucket).

Thanks, Owner, for your store offerings and fun activities for your patrons (and lurkers).